Being American Automatically Makes Me an Expert On...

1. US Elections

Why is Ohio so important? Apparently that's a known fact worldwide, and is the FIRST thing mentioned when I say what state I'm from. Try explaining the electoral college to someone with only very basic English skill. Go on, I dare you.

2. Indiana Jones

We're playing an Indiana Jones medley in the community wind band. I can generally tell when the director is going off on tangents and when he's giving instructions, so I tend to tune out the tangents. Until I suddenly realized that he had switched to English, which meant it was directed at me. "Which Indiana Jones movie was first?" Uh... I've only seen one. Yes, I know I should fix that. But even if I had seen more than one, I still probably wouldn't know which was first. So I just said "Raiders of the Lost Ark," since that's the only one I've seen, and hoped I was right. But really? None of the other thirty people in the room know Indiana Jones, it HAD to fall to me?

3. Syria

At least I can find Syria on a map, unlike most. Luckily, questions in this area were generally geared towards "do you agree with the idea of going to war," which I could easily answer without getting too much into politics. Pacifism ftw.

4. The Shutdown

After the first few days, the only reason I kept reading all the articles I could find was to be able to answer questions. I mean, of course I wanted to stay informed, but honestly, all I really cared about was when it ended. Instead, I was memorizing numbers, dates, and names of members of congress.

5. John Williams

Wind band again. Before working on the Indiana Jones piece, the director talked for like 2 minutes in Italian. No big deal, I could pick out some stylistic reminders and other directions- after all, music therms are music terms. Plus, he generally translates things that are important. But this time, after he finished his original instructions, he looked at me and said "Well, you know John Williams. Play it like that." Sure, I'm plenty familiar with him... but I could still have used the reminders!

6. The English Language

Okay, this one seems a bit weird to add. Especially with how much I love grammar, I never thought this would be an issue. But I've never really had to THINK about grammar before, other than the things I'm working on fixing for myself. (Right now, my mission is to stop ending my sentences with prepositions. IT'S A LOT HARDER THAN IT SOUNDS.) But when I'm asked what the difference is between "drank" and "drunk," I draw a blank. I don't know, the right one usually just comes out of my mouth.

7. American Pop/Rock Music

...HA. Ask me anything about Broadway, but bring up Miley and I'm just going to stare at you blankly. Can I understand the words to [insert whatever song happens to be on the radio]? Have you heard this Niki Minaj song? How about Ke$ha?

8. Travel Within the US

"You've NEVER been to TEXAS‽‽‽‽‽" Nope. Well, I had a layover in Austin once, does that count?
"Have you been to New York?" City or state?
"Have you been to Washington?" Again, city or state? (ALWAYS city.)
"Can't you just take a train to..." *dissolves into laughter*
"Do you go to the sea for holiday?" Well, we don't have a sea, and the ocean is REALLY far away.
"Wait, so you can't see the other side of the lake?" Nope.

9. Muscle Cars

This was really only one time, but just the fact that it was used as a "common interest" conversation starter was weird. Nod and smile. I also get some questions about American cars in general, but that's mostly from the kids while we're walking down the street, and they ask which cars are American-made. Uh... Ford.... that's all I've got.

10. Cleveland Accent

This doesn't technically fit the category, but like hell am I going to stop on an odd number. I've never been more aware of the whole "a = ɪə" business in my life. Every once in a while, people ask me to pronounce random things just for fun. "Al" was one of the first. Also, thanks to a couple of friends from home, I'm well aware that I say "milk" wrong, and that did not go unnoticed here either.

There are so many little things along the way that I have never really though about before. Yes, our suburban neighborhoods look like the ones in movies. Yes, greek organizations really exist. Yes, huge parties do happen in college. Yes, we carve pumpkins for halloween. And we do the whole costume trick or treating thing. Just like in movies.

On the flip side, my perception of Italy: Yes, there is pasta EVERYWHERE. I think we ate pasta every day- sometimes twice a day- for the entire first week I was here. It's scaled back a bit now, but still a lot more than at home! Yes, everything here is very old. I was in a church a few weeks ago that was RESTORED before Columbus even left Europe. And everything is art.

We were watching a movie a few days ago- I have no idea what the title was, but the basic plot revolved around the President's daughter running away while on a trip in Europe. At one point, she is in Venice, and meets a local man, who takes her and her companion home where his mother fed them and gave them a place to sleep for the night. The mom only spoke Italian, and as soon as she started, everyone around me burst out laughing. However, I later learned that it was only because the accent was completely wrong for Venice- what she was saying, and how open and welcoming she was to complete strangers is VERY Italian. So our movies get some things right about other cultures, too!